Iced Borscht

Originally Posted in the Blog Universe On Thursday 3rd January 2008 – 11:47:06 PM

Cryptozoologist Nick Redfern offers a nice review of Linda Godfrey’s new STRANGE WISCONSIN book at his blog, There’s Something in the Woods:

“The ‘Pig-Men’ of Brussels sound like something out of Deliverance; the beast that haunts the pet cemetery at Chilton in Wisconsin’s Calumet County is best avoided by those of a nervous disposition; and the story of the ‘big dead thing’ will doubtless frustrate cryptozoologists everywhere, given that the witnesses might actually have let prime evidence for the existence of a cryptid slip through their fingers.”

I hadn’t heard of the Pig-Men until now, and I generally don’t believe in the more fanciful cryptids that get reported these days.

But I will say that the Strangeness Quotient of Wisconsin is much higher and much more authentic than the SQ in most places of these United States.

That is inclined to happen when:

Steve Crowder over at Big Hollywood calls atheism a mental handicap and asks atheists in the modemscape to respond.

S’okay. Here goes.

I won’t draw upon the excellent work of such provocative rapscallions as Sam Harrris, Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens, fine gents who cover this territory much better than I ever could.

Instead, I’ll challenge religious folks to riddle me this:

If “Intelligent Design” is at work in the cosmos, are things on the list below part of our sexy creator’s swell plan?

I’m sorry to shit on the buffet, folks, but I tend to believe that most prophets and/or power-brokering transcendalists were:

A) full of shit;

B) high as a kite (it’s a good thing there was no drug war when Moses was smoking Sinai Peninsula Thunderfuck);

C) batshit insane; or

D) temporal-lobe epileptics.

My take on religion can be likened to a semi-obscure SEINFELD scene. Jerry‘s date asks him in a perky manner: “You don’t like dancing?” and Jerry responds in an equally perky tone: “No! Because it’s so stupid!” Replace the word “dancing” with God, religion, spirituality, etc., and you have my take on matters of our Lord. (Note that I didn’t say people who believe in these things are stupid. I labeled the concepts stupid — an important distinction!)

I don’t disagree with conservatives’ opinion that many of the world’s most visible atheists are shrill dorks (hi Bill Maher, yes I see you back there telling 1987-caliber “white people are so lame!” jokes). But you can’t paint us all with the same tar brush. I myself am sympathetic to many a conservative cause, e.g. small government, less taxes, more guns, less Sean Penn, etc.

That said, let’s take the high road to end this thing. Some unity, coupled with levity. Here’s a relevant Neil Hamburger joke:

“Why did God invent so much gay porn?……………..Because he’s a fag.”

Thank you; you’re beautiful! Iced Borscht audiences are the greatest audiences in all the land!