JD Salinger is a living person, not a dead one. Learned this from the new issue of WIRED.
10:10 PM Apr 19th from web

Why hasn’t Susan Roesgen been sold into indentured servitude? Can somebody arrange for that?
1:32 PM Apr 16th from web

One Neil Hamburger joke then it’s off to bed. “Why did God send Terri Schiavo to hell? For the sin of sloth.”
10:19 PM Apr 14th from web

The more I neglect Twitter, the more followers I get. Sonsofbitches don’t RT my Kim Jong Il jokes but come in droves when there’s nothing.
10:16 PM Apr 14th from web

I was making jokes about Moses and Sinai Peninsula Thunderfuck last night when suddenly my Mother Mary night light exploded into sparks.
5:10 PM Apr 10th from web

On my libertarian island, all members of my cargo cult will speak in pantomimes only. If they know what’s good for them….
9:34 AM Apr 10th from web

Now that the weather’s nice, chubby chicks slow their cars down and try to seduce me while I wait helplessly at the downtown bus stop.
10:44 PM Apr 7th from web

Last freebie, then I start charging for these things: “Is that a North Korean slave state in your pants or are you just happy to see me?”
11:37 AM Apr 5th from web

Rescued from the joke trash bin: “Is that Kim Jong Il in your pants, etc.”
11:02 AM Apr 5th from web

Finish the thought: A rabbi, a priest and a North Korean slave state walk into a bar…
10:55 AM Apr 5th from web

San Diego + Sobieski = Sobieskiego, multicultural Wisconsin town of the future.
9:54 AM Apr 1st from web

Tags: bus stops, chubby chicks, God, indentured servitude, JD Salinger, jokes, Kim Jong Il, Mother Mary, Neil Hamburger, North Korea, rockets, San Diego, sins, sloth, Sobieski, Susan Roesgen, Terri Schiavo, The Upper Midwest, Wired