My favorite Web site of the moment, Mosnews.com, delivers Russian news in broken English, which makes me privy to this hot item:
“Nadezhda Teplyakova was walking home from work when the wild animal suddenly attacked her,” we’re told. Read it, damn it:
“The petite woman of only 1.52 meters did not know what to do at first. ‘The bear seized me by the ear. After that it bit my ponytail off, I almost fainted away with fear. Then I started to shout at the top of my voice at the animal. It was motionless with surprise. After that I have delivered several blows to its muzzle. It then just growled and ran away into the forest,’ Teplyakova said. ‘I don’t know how I got home.’
Her hubby takes over from here:
“‘She entered the room covered with blood,’ Nadezhda’s husband Victor said. “Then [Nadezhda] fell into my arms and said only the word ‘bear.’ After that she passed out.”
Local traumatologist Evgenii Afonin helped reassemble Nadezhda. He brings a matter-of-fact stoicism to the operating table.
“We operated on the mutilated woman for several hours. Our surgeons have sown up her head, leg and chest wounds.”
Despite all the gloom and mutilation, our humdinger of a story ends on a high note.
“The next day Victor went to the forest, tracked down the animal and shot it to avenge his wife.”
The end.
???????? ????????????, HOMIE.
