Iced Borscht

Cleaning Out the Link Cage, 08/23/09:

The night news program of FOX’s RED EYE WITH GREG GUTFELD is a wonderful place, it which is necessary to laugh for libertariantsa.

The slaphappy jams of comedy consist of basic homoeroticism, and show-owner Greg Gutfeld goes on to describe all forms of fetishes of the fun-time and sexual.

Accomplice Bill Schultz holds machines of laughter too, usually with his alter ego, the correspondent for NEW YORK TIMES, “Pinch.”

The tax collection of ombudsman Andy Levy is dry-humored; he is the anchor of the whole exhibition; he corrects screw-raisers during the witty “Halftime Report.”

The televised exhibition has a series of candy eye on the frequent display too. Hot little-ones of superfox are distinguished regularly: Courtney Friel, S.E. Cupp, Anna Devid, Kimberly Guilfoyle, Alison Of Rosen and Diana Falzone all holds encouragement temperature to hyperkinetic levels!

Intellectual comic actors as fantastic funnyman Neil Hamburger appear mostly too, and star of GWAR, Oderus Urungus, makes fun from good time.

The writing of the exhibition is effective, similar on to genius shown of Chris Elliott for the American television in decade period 1980s i.e. David Letterman.

Also there is diversionary flavor to the exhibition, as it express the schematic diagrams of contrarians and battle those most revered of cows. Erase any doubt that this exhibition is the best on the television!

My wife of husbandry said for me to write something positive as I eat on this blog in order to help the FOX News Channel place the guys further on the better time of 3 a.m.

Luckily, I make a good application of my DVR and observe brilliant episodes each morning with my coffee and rolls. If you please, support this kind television programming and write letters to the executives of FOX constraining them in order to leave this precise exhibition of vyshed for the market tenaciously.

Make it for pop of culture’s conscience.

Some fine stuff recently by Radley Balko over at the Agitator; he tackles the Whole Foods cha cha cha with great aplomb.

Radley also makes note of something quite interesting that puzzles me too. While discussing all the backlash from his critique of the John Mackey boycotters, he writes:

A few emailers took offense to the term “leftists,” or “lefties.” Is that pejorative now? Well, okay. What would you like to be called? As I understand it, “liberal” went out of vogue in the late 1980s. Which is fine, because as a libertarian, I’d actually like to have that word back.

I’ve run into this phenomenon too; I’ve found that “leftist” seems to be viewed as a “jab” by hyper-sensitive members of the liberal intelligentsia. It wasn’t until just a couple days ago that I learned (from a David Horowitz piece somewhere) that “leftist” is a term reserved for someone who rejects any and all conservative principles.

But here’s the deal.

I don’t even know what I am, politically speaking, and I don’t take offense to someone’s legitimate attempts to describe me. As I’ve stated, I tend to consider myself a wandering political agnostic. Still, I don’t mind such identifiers as “libertarian.” Whether I’m a left-leaning libertarian, right-leaning libertarian or full-on centrist really depends on the day and mood. But that’s neither here nor there.

Productive political discourse is borne out of civility and mutual respect. I don’t care what you call me, as long as you’re making a genuine and sincere attempt to identify me in a way that is helpful to the intellectual process. If you get it completely wrong, so what. We’ll forget about it. However, don’t seek to denigrate me or “elevate” yourself simply because we disagree on healthcare. If you rush to call me “redneck,” “white trash” or something similar with disparaging intent, then get lost. You’re taking intellectual shortcuts and engaging in moral cowardice. Sadly, it seems many of our nation’s culture warriors are glued to the former and grafted to the latter.

With the economy in a constant state of turmoil and Slate.com featuring a recent week-long series on “How America May End,” I thought it timely to provide a list of some states that the federal government could boot out of the union. We’ll save money, lose some dead weight and trim down. America will finally be able to fit into those sexy hot pants again. Below are my suggestions.

Massachusetts:

The Bay State (if that’s really its nickname) has produced a veritable “who’s who” of deep-fried dystopians, e.g. Howard Zinn, Louis Farrakhan, Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Mitt Romney, Noel Ignatiev, Henry Louis Gates, Noam Chomsky, Mark Wahlberg, et al. Clearly the place is a cancer. Guys, when you exit the borders of the motherland, please ship the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame to a more appropriate location — Durham, maybe.

California/Oregon:

A package deal. I hesitate to list these places since I live in the latter and spend a fair amount of time in the former. But Cali is a powder keg of apocalyptic misfortune that gave rise to such ignoble scum as Barbara Boxer, Nancy Pelosi, and Gwyneth Paltrow. Plus, there’s the disturbing case of Los Angeles and its existence. Ed Abbey once wrote something about how he tried to visit L.A. but some unseen force propelled him safely away from it. The same thing happened to me when I found myself within driving distance of the blessed place. An acute sense of revulsion, quite eerie, prevented me from advancing any further than Barstow (the exact same circumstances that overcame Abbey).

Oregon gave rise to veganarchist Tre Arrow and that alone is grounds for immediate dismissal.
Belching out Oregon would require a bit of sadism on America’s part, though. Think about it: Oregon has no quality leadership and there’s zero chance it would survive as an autonomous micronation. One swift attack by a rogue-ish band of pillagers and plunderers would leave it bloody and broken. Perhaps America should hold on to us out of pity.

Mississippi:

For too long this swampy red herring has diverted America’s attention away from its real problem (classism) and toward one of classism’s many symptoms (racism). As author Jim Goad puts it:

“Instead of being brave enough to EVER mention the idea that social classes exist in America, fag-fag-faggity corporate journalists obediently kept silent on the subject. Instead, they drained the corporate coffers flying down to Mississippi in search of hate crimes. And now their cowardly silence has turned around and killed them. Good riddance, you journo-homos.”

Moreover, Mississippi is the home to the sports world’s poster boy for narcissism, Brett Favre, and Favre’s crooked enabler, agent Bus Cook. Begone, heinous peoples. Off the map!

Montana:

A beautiful place with a penchant for producing dullards and dolts. Somehow, Montana State University felt it prudent to give a college degree to Susan Roesgen, whose histrionics during a rather tame Tea Party protest last spring were grotesque. Montana also gets dinged because green anarchist Ted Kaczynski thought highly enough of the swell landscape to set up shop there and capriciously kill people while under the influence of Jacques Ellul. Also notable: Montana senator Max Baucus made the whole world slightly dumber when he compared Obama’s speeches to the music of a great symphony. Apparently Max didn’t realize that some of us keep track of such transgressions.

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On the flip side, here are a few states that seem to get bad publicity far too often. I now defend their honor, and explain why they are fit to remain within the Union.

Florida:

Leave “the Fla” alone, cretins. Everyone’s favorite whipping boy from the Hanging Chad Fiasco of 2000 stays. It’s got orange groves. ORANGE GROVES! And green anoles aplenty.

Utah:

Yes, Utah. Despite the fact that I’m a card-carrying atheist who grimaces at the thought of church and state “gettin’ it on,” I’m in favor of keeping this strange theocracy around. As Josh Levin deftly notes in Slate.com’s “End of America” series, the Mormons may ultimately save our ungrateful fat-faces from oblivion. Levin writes:

“The Mormons’ ideological preparations for the end of America include the widely held belief that the United States will not endure — and that when the Constitution ‘hangs by a thread,’ Mormons will be there to save it.”

Why, Mormons, exactly? Levin continues:

“Mormonism is an American religion. It was birthed in this country, and the church’s missionary work has made the religion one of the most-recognizable American institutions around the world. If the U.S. government dissolves or the continent gets submerged by rising seas, the Mormons have more reason than most to stick around. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints holds that the framers of the Constitution were divinely inspired, that American Indians are partly descended from an ancient Israelite tribe called the Lamanites, and that upon his return, Jesus Christ will rule both in the old Jerusalem and on American soil.

Can you say EFF YEAH?! You will if you know what’s good for you.

Texas:

Yes, the Dallas Cowboys are an eyesore/nuisance, but we’ll keep ‘em around. Hating Texas seems too easy; like a skill taught in PROGRESSIVISM FOR DUMMIES. Chapter 1: “Relentlessly Complain About Texas and Walmart to Best Ingratiate Yourself With Other Enlightened Thinkers.” Texas stays on the map.