TUNDRANAUTICA

Bringing Home the Freshest Kill

Kurt Cobain, Activist

Kurt Cobain

Top Things Kurt Cobain Would Be Doing if He Weren’t Dead

  • Working as a Diversity and Inclusion consultant in Portland, Oregon.
  • Reinventing himself as a progressive scholar.
  • Reinventing himself as an intellectual man of letters.
  • Undertaking an intense, holistic approach to intersectional analysis.
  • Speaking Inconvenient Truths to power.
  • Transcending cisnormative, transphobic orthodoxies.
  • Refusing to sacrifice his integrity.
  • Advocating on behalf of anti-consumerism in Portland, Oregon.
  • Refusing to be commodified by the music industry.
  • Living in Olympia, Washington.
  • Enjoying the caviar buffet at a prog fundraiser with esteemed journo Max Blumenthal (spawn of Sidney).
  • Making your ass coo like a machine gun of pandemonium and rage.
  • Comparing America to “a collapsing turd” or “an imperialistic Pop Tart.”
  • Telling you he doesn’t need your major labels or your over-produced schlock.
  • Telling you he only listens to colored vinyl.
  • Taking on the majority culture, white-male KKKorporate shit machine.
  • Grappling with the immensity of his thoughts in Portland, Oregon.
  • Discussing how suicide was “off brand” for him.
  • Trying not to encroach on feminist spaces.
  • Doing advocacy work for Preferred Pronoun usage.
  • Rocking the vote for Barack Obama.
  • Telling you he hates malls.
  • Telling you he hates your face.
  • Telling you that progressive politics = the prized Rothschild Egg.
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