- I began composting! Sure, the city’s omnibenevolent composting pilot forces me to compost, and getting out of this scam appears impossible. But unlike some affluent gentrifiers in town, I’m actually DOING it — I’m composting! Mother Gaia has repaid me by increasing the number of flies that gravitate toward rotting food at my house.
- I made serious commitments to DOWNSIZE! To consume less, buy local and repent!
Sweet Christmas broheims, I was en route to becoming a noble steward of the environment until some thugs ruined my humble dream.
There’s a way to help, though. You can “re-green” me by donating to my PayPal account (see the yellow “Donate” button below). All funds will go toward the purchase of a new bike. The new wheels will lessen my carbon footprint in Multnomah County and points beyond. If this scheme successfully reunites me with the pleasures of bike ownership, I’ll even bike to work once or twice.