TUNDRANAUTICA

Bringing Home the Freshest Kill

Posts in the Jim Goad category

  • The Vanishing Yokel,” by Jim Goad: “As Americans get more tightly packed into sprawling megalopolises, what coastal snobs dismiss as ‘flyover country’ is rapidly devolving into one giant ghost town. What used to be known as Middle Americans are now called extremists. The heartland has become the hinterlands. One of the biggest cultural divides in American culture has always been urban v. rural, city mouse v. country mouse. It appears that the city mouse has won.”

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Jezebel.

Jezebel is a shrill, horrible Web site written by coddled, spoiled, angry (mostly white) feminists who — not content with a country, the Emasculated States of America, that caters to their every crybaby whim under President Hopedick — sees fit to attack anyone with a penis.

But don’t take it from me. Take it from Kyria Abrahams, a funny and talented writer whom I kinda-sorta know through Jim Goads Facebook group.

Kyria has produced the best takedown of Jezebel that I’ve ever seen.

An excerpt:

Jezebel plays upon the worst female stereotype: that of the gossipy, shrill, cliquish, therapy-tethered, cast of Girls-style spoiled brat. Jezebel writers act the way misogynistic men mistakenly believe all women act, with a stick up their ass and their nose in an iPhone. This website, and sites like them, have single-handedly set back badass chicks faster than Sleater Kinney in a tractor beam.

Preach, girl!

And here’s Kyria’s speculative (and dare I say pretty damn accurate) take on the mindset of the average Jezebel or Jezebel-esque writer who throws Internet tantrums about mansplaining and fat-shaming and god knows what else:

I have a theory about Internet feminists who spend their days writing blog posts as the moral arbiters of society. I suspect they are sociopathic. Think about it. These women need a list of no-no words because they actually don’t know right from wrong.

I think they are secretly horrid, hateful people who use feminism like Dexter’s murder code. They don’t know how to behave, not really, not in their hearts. They only know what they’ve been told is right and told is wrong. You didn’t mean to hurt someone’s feelings? Well, guess what! What you meant isn’t important any more. The only important thing is what I wanted you to mean.

And so, the bloggers navigate rape jokes and racial tensions like a ride on a sabbath elevator stopping at every floor. Finding a way to travel as they please without technically breaking any laws. They’ve made so many rules they’re now making rules to get around their own rules.

And I like this challenge Kyria hurls at the bloated ankles of the snarling Jezebel yeast eaglets.

Jezebel writers, what do you do for the world? Do you offer positive things? Do you write, draw, sing, run, dance? Since you are feminists, do you take advantage of anything that feminism has actually given women the freedom to do? Or do you just sit around pointing fingers and drumming up outrage for impressionable college girls?

You call yourselves feminists but you’re just feminine. You’re everything cliched and stereotypical about women the rest of us have worked so hard to get out from under. If Jezebel’s brand of feminism were a corporeal woman, she would be pulling on her chewing gum and driving daddy’s car too slowly in the passing lane, her right blinker permanently on, as she drives on and on and on, oblivious to the accidents taking place behind her.

Well said, well said.

And deeply appreciated by those of us who are just flat-out sick of the bullshit.

Jezebel, fuck you.

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Al Goldstein passed away last week.

Here is a fantastic interview he did with David Allan Coe many moons ago.

 

Also: check out Jim Goad‘s remembrance of Al over at Street Carnage.

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Big Rob

Tremendous photo of Rob Ford from the Internet

  • Daniel Kalder on the bizarre spectacle of kids’ MMA: “…there’s a difference between playground wars and kids’ MMA, namely that the teachers at my school did not run out and join us in our fight circle to cheer on the violence. Instead, like the responsible adults they were, they broke up the battles. But at MMA events, the parents sit in the audience celebrating the beatings. And that seems a bit odd.”
  • Jim Goadafter a colonoscopy the other day in which he received the anesthetic Propofol: “They shot me up with a creamy syringe of the sweet nectar again this morning. As the nurse pressed the plunger, she told me I’d be unconscious in 3-5 seconds. I vowed to stay awake longer than that, but I was out before the plunger hit bottom. I awoke to be informed that my colon is as slick and blemish-free as an Olympic luge track, whereupon I hugged the nurse. I never hug anyone.”

Jim Henson Memorial

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Links of interest

This image is a screen capture from the previe...

  • Daniel Kalder on the bromance of Dennis Rodman and Kim Jong-un: “It seems likely then that Kim Jong-un is in a pretty dark place these days: paranoid, fearful, murderous. And along comes Dennis, his friend, at exactly the right moment. Could Rodman be working an angle? Well, he’s not singing at a wedding or looking for citizenship, and he has explicitly stated that he will not raise the issue of Korean-American missionary Kenneth Bae, currently languishing in a North Korean prison. No, says Rodman: ‘I’m not there to be a diplomat. I’m there to go there and just have a good time, sit with (Kim Jong-un) and his family, and that’s pretty much it.'”
  • Jim GoadIt’s Hard Out Here for a Dudebro: “Hapless and uncomprehending dudebros are expected to passively sit with their hands folded in their laps as they’re scolded over their cisgendered privilege and the fact that they deny the ‘brovantages’ that life under this white-male patriarchy has granted them. They are told to shut the fuck up and stop pretending to listen, that they are in effect the brownshirts of rape culture for whom no form of surgical castration could be too painful.”
  • The Independent: “A former women’s prison in South Africa which once held Winnie Mandela is now home to a 12m-deep screaming vagina.”
  • The Socialist Worker: “The Obama administration has been able to find some allies in unexpected places in his quest to sell the war. There are a surprising number of African American liberals who, while they may have not completely jumped on board the air-strike bandwagon, are, in effect, warming up the engine and assisting the administration to make its case for war.”
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  • Andrew Kirell — No, The Actual Libertarian Movement Didn’t ‘Go Nuts’ — It’s Just The One Inside Bill Maher’s Head: “[Libertarians] do have our share of thoughtful radicals, but the majority of [us] are generally pragmatic when it comes to policy. For instance, many of us believe pollution controls are necessary in situations where the market cannot effectively produce the best outcome. Either way, painting libertarians as dark-hearted souls wanting to revert mankind into some Thunderdome-like anarchic existence is just as silly as saying liberals’ ultimate goal is a barren wasteland full of Stalin-esque labor camps and thought police.”
  • J.D. TuccilleWhy I’m Teaching My Son to Break the Law: “Personally, I would say that I love liberty more than any other value, and I don’t give a damn if my neighbors or the state disagree. I will be free, and I’m willing to help others be free, if they want my assistance. Screw any laws to the contrary.”
  • Jim GoadLanguage as an Assault Weapon: “A huge quotient of the seemingly endless cultural and ideological wars hinges on how terms are defined. Those who claim authority to declare what words mean are able to shape public thinking like a sculptor molds clay. Although facts — which are what news organizations are supposed to peddle — seem immutable, words are forever in flux. Both ‘liberal’ and ‘progressive’ now mean almost the opposite of what they did a century ago.”

English: Bunker Hill in downtown Los Angeles a...

 

 

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Links 4 U

Repugnant Clown Hens Elizabeth Warren and Nancy Pelosi

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Lodowicke Muggleton, by William Wood (floruit ...

Soul-Brother No. 1, Lodowick Muggleton

  • Daniel Kalder:  2012, The Apocalypse, and My Five Favorite Prophets — “Lodowick Muggleton (1609- 1698) was an English tailor who in 1651 discovered that he was one of the two Witnesses mentioned in Revelation 11. Muggleton revealed that God was a man between five and six foot tall and that there was no point in praying. His followers met in pubs, didn’t seek converts, and spent three centuries waiting for a Last Judgment that never came.”
  • Jim Goad:  Our Balls, Ourselves: “Brothers, gents, countrymen, and assorted randy lads and bucks galloping like centaurs through fields of feminine flowers and wantonly squirting their seed the world over, I regret to inform you that the worm has turned on the world’s sperm. Our gonads face a crisis of historic proportions. A Spermocaust is unfolding a mere three feet beneath our very eyes.”
  • Joel Kotkin: Aging America — Cities That Are Aging the Fastest: “…metropolitan areas widely celebrated as magnets for the young and hip are also aging rapidly. For example, while Portland remains younger than average, it rose from 36th oldest in 2000 to 29th oldest in 2010. Even Seattle got older, rising from 39th place in 2000 to 34th in 2010.”‘
  • Rosie Gray on Ron Paul’s farewell speech: “Paul spoke for nearly 45 minutes, slamming the political establishment, the TSA, the federal government, Internet regulations, police searches, and, of course, the Federal Reserve. The speech seemed at times to be one long complaint about the dearth of libertarian ideas in Congress. ‘Our liberties have been eroded, our wealth has been consumed,’ Paul said. He blasted ‘psychopathic authoritarians’ who ‘endorse government-initiated force to change the world.'”
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