TUNDRANAUTICA

Bringing Home the Freshest Kill

Posts in the Portland category

Pal Ricky recently visited town, and that means I was able to get my hands on some issues of his latest comic book, Senator Surprise.

It’s good. It’s funny. It’s good fun.

Some images here:

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Senator Surprise

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All pics taken by yours truly unless otherwise indicated.

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BRAYING JACKASSES & CHIRPING PIPSQUEAKS

CINEMA

DYSTOPIA

HEALTH

OPPORTUNITY!

PHILOSOPHY

  • “A shirtless Slavoj Žižek explains the purpose of philosophy, adding to other notable definitions of the intellectual art, from the comfort of his bed.”

Slavoj Žižek (b. 1949) - Slovenian philosopher...

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I am an affluent man yet I live in a 250-square-foot hermetically sealed egg off East Burnside Avenue in Portland, Oregon.

egghome

When friends come over for bull sessions, I place them snugly in a box using techniques I learned from a Boulder, Colorado street contortionist.

I don’t own a TV and I don’t abide by the rules of AmeriKKKa, which is a collapsing turd,  a nightmarish pit of consumerism.

When I first made a killing with my Internet start-ups, I used the cash to spoil myself. Then Ástbjörg, an Icelandic beauty, arrived via ice floe at my front door one day, naked and rolling in cash. My soulmate. We were on a slow path to nowhere, despite our sexual admiration for one another.

The zeal with which we pursued material wealth left us curiously empty. I first realized this when I hired Sven, a midget bon vivant, to entertain me and occasionally do household errands.

Hiring the diminutive Sven didn’t have its desired effect.

At first it was great. My pulse hammered with excitement whenever Sven did a little jig while sorting through produce in my kitchen. Sven was also an ace composter. His value to me was incalculable.

But like the rest of the clutter in my life, I knew I had to jettison the dwarf and the very essence of my hollow, black life.

Things are looking up. See this clenched fist? The one lodged up my ass?  I have more carbon offset credits contained therein than the entire square footage in your McMansion shit-cube.  Deal with it, because you know what? Living large is a hate crime, and you and the rest of this pig society have a rap sheet a mile long.

I’m not saying I’m better than you — I mean, I am, of course — but it’s not too late for you to ditch this oil-dependent Pop Tart, AmeriKKKa. She’s a bloated bitch, pus-ridden with shame. Why not dive off the ol’ gal while there is still time to guilt others into doing the same?

xxx

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Trip to North Korea in June, 2008 한국어: 2008년 6...

North Korea (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

  • Daniel Kalder — WHO ARE THE HAIR POLICE? “…there are 28 officially acceptable haircuts in North Korea – 10 styles for men and 18 for women. Unsurprisingly, the styles are pretty conservative – dye jobs are out; nothing spiky is permitted (nothing too long either, even on women) and definitely NO MOHAWKS…”
  • More hair issues — “A Chinese woman hasn’t cut her hair for the past 11 years and her locks now hang at 6ft 7in long. In comparison to her long hair, 44-year-old Cen Yingyuan only stands 5ft feet in height, meaning that unless she ties up her tresses her hair trails on the floor as she walks.”
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While dining at Hung Far Low recently, I leafed through the Asian Reporter, where I found the following “open letter,” apparently crafted by anonymous and disgruntled TriMet staffers.

The information therein does not paint a pretty picture of our local “transit” agency. Moreover, it affirms what many of us have been saying for years: TriMet is a dysfunctional hellpit of horse-shit and incompetence.

Check. It. Out. (Click letter to enlarge, por favor.)

trimet

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While driving down Powell Boulevard a couple weeks ago, I noticed this:

Teed College

It’s vandalism. And Channel 6 is all over it:

The sign modifications appear to be temporary, though it’s not clear what kind of adhesive was used.

What are your thoughts on the Teed College sign? Feel free to leave a comment.

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tallman2 on Flickr.

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