Brent Fauve can go smoke a turd in hell. I’ve had it with this half man/half Golden Retriever. Let him go into the Pro Football Hall of Fame as a Minnesota Viking. Or bet­ter yet, an Atlanta Falcon. Because it’s offi­cial: he has pissed away his legacy as a Green Bay Packer.

Let Brent’s cere­bral coach Brad Childress give his induc­tion speech. Other wor­thy can­di­dates for induction-speech priv­i­leges on the inevitable blessed day are Zack Brett Mangini (who will be 16 or 17 at the time), Phil Loadholt or Brent Fauve’s for­mer Atlanta Falcon team­mate, “Neon” Deion Sanders.

A few ques­tions I have for Brent after his sec­ond win over the Green Bay Packers:

• Are you happy?

• Did all of your manip­u­la­tive, attention-getting shenani­gans from the past year and a half pro­vide you with a strong sense of accomplishment?

• Are you joy­ful, hav­ing taken a deuce on the entire state of Wisconsin?

I guess we’ll never know the answers to these prob­ing ques­tions because the tards that Favre grants inter­views to are softball-lobbing enablers of the ram­bling blowhard’s narcissism.

But there is still great fun to be had at the troglodyte’s expense. I took the lib­erty of using an English-to-Japanese-to-English trans­mo­gri­fier to dis­tort Brent Fauve’s postgame com­ments from today. I think it sheds much-needed light on the dullard’s thought process:

“Too many people…I have a lot of passers-by, I want to know some good storms.”

“It was expected of me. I was prob­a­bly worse in all areas. I did not expect a stand­ing ova­tion. I knew her.”

“It is always dif­fi­cult to lose a child. I under­stand. My face is peo­ple who have never been to the fric­tion. I two backpackers…”

“They know it’s your favorite kind of mind complex…”

“Please read this buf­fet. Super Bowl teams…I fight with him.”

“Also, I’m not a fan of the Packers, but am chang­ing what you know a spe­cial case of this orga­ni­za­tion. Do you miss some­thing as soon as possible?”

“I know the sta­dium and I saw him play tonight…everyone is always play­ing in the excite­ment and pas­sion for his game.”

“Except, I do not intend to change the game. Many peo­ple have praised me for my career…That’s all I can do…Unchanged.”

Well said, asshole!

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