It’s Time to Have a REAL Discussion About Vaccines and

Why They Are Not Super Impressive Things

by Bill Maher

5^th Hour Science/REAL TIME

Dr. Shermer is wrong that vac­cines are amaz­ing things of sci­ence. I don’t think they are “amaz­ing” all. Quite the con­trary. I think they are “un-amazing.” I say this as some­one of higher than decent intel­li­gence. For instance, I am friends with Richard Dawkins and Sam Harris, two of the smartest peo­ple on the World. And they agree with every­thing I say, pretty much, so for Dr. Shermer to insult me on the Huffington Post is ridicu­lously wrong.

Dr. Shermer and “skep­tics” wouldn’t know their way around Los Angeles if you spot­ted them two hook­ers and a Scientologist!

I hate to say it, but they are losers; if they were at one of my par­ties talk­ing about “straw­men” and “Ahkam’s Razor,” the chicks would look at  them like “Who are these ass­holes?” Am I right? Give me a break, people.

Seriously, though, I made a movie about reli­gion and it showed how dumb peo­ple are. The movie got me the 2009 Richard Dawkins Knowledge Trophy; so I think I’m qual­i­fied to speak intel­li­gently. If you lis­ten to my TV audi­ences, they are laugh­ing really hard. They cheer for my opin­ions, my intel­li­gent opin­ions. I would invite pro-vaccination peo­ple to debate me on the show, in front of a tough crowd and live audi­ence, with some REAL sci­en­tific guests who know their stuff. Men of sci­ence like Dr. Russell Blaycock and Barbara Loe Fisher.

When I went on LETTERMAN the other night, Dave was smart enough to know my opin­ion was cor­rect. People in the busi­ness and peo­ple of Los Angeles know that main­stream America’s views are harm­ful and fucked up. Aggregate tox­i­c­ity is run­ning amok in America’s Heartland. The aver­age Minnesota farmer would rather eat Big Macs off a horse’s ass than drink a sea­weed nutri­ent shake because “it’s too effem­i­nate! Like quiche! How faggy!”

Assholes, SHUT UP! Go to your eff­ing tea par­ties already with your Freedom Fries!

Just kid­ding! I kid the tea farm­ers and their intake of fast-food toxins!

But, in sum­ma­tion, here’s a New Rule: If you think that talk­ing about log­i­cal fal­lac­ies will pre­vent you from get­ting fel­lated on a given night, then shut the fuck up!

Thanks, you’ve been a great audi­ence. Goodnight, folks.

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