The Agnostic Loaf of Mystery vs. the Glazed Ham of Unbelief

If you haven’t done so yet, please read “An Agnostic Manifesto,” by Ron Rosenbaum over at Slate. It’s good.

Rosenbaum argues that the com­plex­i­ties of agnos­ti­cism shouldn’t dimin­ish its place in reli­gious debate, where “New Atheism” and reli­gious fun­da­men­tal­ism com­pete reg­u­larly to pro­duce the most bel­liger­ent quips and sound bites. Enough of that, says Rosenbaum. It’s time to put on our bak­ing gloves and pre­pare the Agnostic Loaf of Mystery.

He writes:

Agnosticism doesn’t fear uncer­tainty. It doesn’t cling like a child in the dark to the dog­mas of ortho­dox reli­gion or athe­ism. Agnosticism respects and cel­e­brates uncer­tainty and has been doing so since before quan­tum physics revealed the uncer­tainty that lies at the very ground­work of being.

That’s an elo­quent state­ment, whereas a lot of chat­ter in the athe­ist world is bratty and juve­nile. Atheist dis­course often reeks of fraternity/sorority shenani­gans; drink­ing games set against a back­drop of “sec­u­lar rebel­lion.” Worse, athe­ists tend to focus on Bible-bred insan­ity while avoid­ing the more prickly domain of Islam. Wimps.

The braver, more hon­est athe­ists fess up to this short­com­ing. Penn Jillette, for instance, recently went out of his way to praise Christians in a dis­cus­sion about his TV show Bullshit:

[we] have been bru­tal to Christians, and their response shows that they’re good fuck­ing Americans who believe in free­dom of speech. We attack them all the time, and we still get let­ters that say, “We appre­ci­ate your pas­sion. Sincerely yours, in Christ.”

Jillette explains that Bullshit avoids crit­i­cism of Islam for a sim­ple rea­son, one that offers a sad, illu­mi­nat­ing com­men­tary on the world: He (and part­ner Teller) don’t want to endan­ger their loved ones.

It’s awful that such a deter­rent exists in 2010, isn’t? Complete bat­shit insanity.

Still, con­trast Jillette’s approach with most athe­ist blog­gers, who chor­tle at Islamist sui­cide bombers and snake-handling Pentecostals from behind their Dawkins_IZ_Gawd (and, um,  Iced Borscht)  screen names. As a Catholic friend recently observed, it’s not exactly “bold” to par­tic­i­pate in “Everybody Draw Mohammed Day” from the com­fort of one’s Mid-Century mod­ern bach­e­lor pad. (The friend, a jour­nal­ist who has cov­ered var­i­ous reli­gious beats in New York State, was unim­pressed by my enthu­si­asm for Everybody Draw Mohammed Day, hence­forth known as EDMD.)

While he makes a good point, I dis­agree with the notion that EDMD was friv­o­lous and sopho­moric. Even some of its cow­ardly aspects con­tributed to an over­rid­ing pos­i­tive: the mit­i­ga­tion, on what­ever tiny level, of a despi­ca­ble form of intol­er­ance.  (Nick Gillespie makes my point more artic­u­lately here, and Paul Berman’s Flight of the Intellectuals pro­vides a bril­liant, if dispir­it­ing, analy­sis of how Western soci­ety — pow­ered by the engine of modern-day “jour­nal­ism” — glee­fully invites Islamism to cas­trate it).

I don’t mean to sug­gest that athe­ism should become a gloomy reser­voir for bland intro­spec­tion. It already has bland intro­spec­tion in spades; once you get past all the blas­phemy board games and kitschy crap, you’re left with an army of killjoys yam­mer­ing on about epis­te­mo­log­i­cal incongruence.

But the killjoys may be on to some­thing. For instance, when I “arrived” at athe­ism, it didn’t feel like some hedo­nis­tic eman­ci­pa­tion from God. Yes, I had finally found an “answer,” but the answer was anti-climactic and dull, as many “truths” are. Contrary to pop­u­lar belief, the road to athe­ism isn’t a hip grind­house flick — it’s not paved with priests’ skulls or set to the music of surf rock. Atheism is mun­dane, normal…unremarkable. But it has a cer­tain unde­ni­able power. Isaac Asimov once said:

I am an athe­ist, out and out. It took me a long time to say it. I’ve been an athe­ist for years and years, but some­how I felt it was intel­lec­tu­ally unre­spectable to say one was an athe­ist, because it assumed knowl­edge that one didn’t have. Somehow it was bet­ter to say one was a human­ist or an agnos­tic. I finally decided that I’m a crea­ture of emo­tion as well as of rea­son. Emotionally I am an athe­ist. I don’t have the evi­dence to prove that God doesn’t exist, but I so strongly sus­pect he doesn’t that I don’t want to waste my time.

Back to Rosenbaum, though. He writes:

I chal­lenge any athe­ist, New or old, to send me their answer to the ques­tion: “Why is there some­thing rather than noth­ing?” I can’t wait for the eva­sions to pour forth. Or even the evi­dence that this ques­tion ever could be answered by sci­ence and logic.

Stultifying. But if you peel back the fore­skin of this wrinkly cat­e­chism, you’ll always be in arm’s reach — and often at the busi­ness end — of a sen­tient cre­ator. Eventually you’ll be tempted by one of sev­eral “God-centric” posi­tions, and none of them will be more iron­clad than the “cer­tainty” of atheism.

One of my favorite arrows in the athe­ist quiver is the idea that our minds go straight to the the­ory of a sen­tient cre­ator with­out con­tem­plat­ing eso­teric con­cepts that might be more plau­si­ble. We’re stuck on “sen­tient cre­ator.” That’s the best we can do. Rosenbaum looks into this mat­ter by ref­er­enc­ing agnos­tic blog­ger John Wilkins:

…there are really two claims agnos­ti­cism is con­cerned with as impor­tant: Whether God exists or not is one. Whether we can know the answer is another. Agnosticism is not for the simple-minded and is not as con­ge­nial as athe­ism and the­ism are. The courage to admit we don’t know and may never know what we don’t know is more dif­fi­cult than say­ing, sure, we know.

I’ll put the brakes on here. While the con­straints of life and its short win­dow of oppor­tu­nity some­times depress me, it’s not an exis­ten­tial cri­sis. When my time comes to kiss the gal­lows, I under­stand that my cor­rupt­ible body will trans­form into a snack bar for maggots.

And I’m fine with that.

More analy­sis of Rosenbaum’s Agnostic Manifesto is avail­able here, cour­tesy of rock-solid peck­er­wood Jacob Grier.

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7 Comments

Ricky Sprague on July 15, 2010 at 5:07 UTC.

I real­ized I was an athe­ist when I was a kid — prob­a­bly around 6 or 7. I went to a few churches in my home­town, to see what they were like (didn’t have any syn­a­gogues or mosques back then — it was a small town [I might be a com­pletely dif­fer­ent per­son today if they’d had any of those!]). The sto­ries they told seemed absurd to me.

I didn’t want some all-powerful crea­ture know­ing every­thing about me, and judg­ing me based on my every stray thought or whim. And I didn’t like the idea of spend­ing eter­nity with that all-powerful crea­ture (Christopher Hitchens has writ­ten about that quite a bit more elo­quently than I ever could). It all grew out of my innate skep­ti­cism — it’s the same rea­son I don’t believe in psy­chics or the loch ness mon­ster, and why I dis­like politi­cians and the government.

For awhile I called myself an “agnos­tic,” because, well, I thought I was being “arro­gant” to assume I knew for cer­tain that there was no god. But of course the same logic applies to uni­corns and cthulu.

I don’t mean to dis­re­spect reli­gious peo­ple. I know and like a lot of reli­gious peo­ple. In some polls, reli­gious peo­ple claim to be hap­pier, they have more chil­dren, they live slightly longer. Those are all good rea­sons to be religious.

But please oh please don’t try to impose your beliefs on me — via gov­ern­ment force or bombs or guns or knives or what­ever — and I won’t try to impose mine on you.

I am hop­ing that they come up with those anti-aging drugs, though. I’m not fine with the mag­got snack bar thing.

Isid Bortz on July 15, 2010 at 5:07 UTC.

@Ricky

Maggots ahoy! The snack bar has arrived! (Well, hope­fully my con­tri­bu­tion to the snack bar doesn’t arrive until 2055 or so…)

We’re cut from the same cloth. I remem­ber being an auda­cious shit­head at age 12 or 13 who would prank call the awful/hilarious pub­lic access Christian TV show that would come on in the evenings.

And I recall squeal­ing with glee as a pre-pubescent shit­head when­ever the likes of Oral Roberts or Al Sharpton came on TV, because I knew Big Laffs would follow.

How did I get this way? Why am I innately non God-fearing? So wonderful…

Unrelated: The first draft of pdX-Man is com­plete. It is going to be a humdinger.

Unruly Altar Boy on July 15, 2010 at 11:07 UTC.

Hey Mike, I enjoyed this — (esp the “Catholic friend” part!). As an agnos­tic friend of mine recently pointed out, every­body is basi­cally an agnos­tic when you get right down to it. I really do believe (wait, I’m think I’m being redun­dant) that it ulti­mately comes down to what you infer from your expe­ri­ence of life. As you well know, I have inferred there is a Creator, although I am more than will­ing to accept that my notions about him/her/it are as lim­ited as the next person’s. I also believe the uni­verse is big enuf to con­tain those that believe there is no sen­tient being behind it or that it is a beau­ti­ful, albeit com­pletely acci­den­tal energy exchange. Strangely, one of the things that most frus­trates me is I have come to have an almost casual inter­nal dia­logue with God/Jesus/The Sacred Heart (the third being my favorite image) and it informs every­thing from my inter­est in astron­omy and music to my take on pol­i­tics and art. But then I find many of my intel­lec­tual friends don’t want to go there and many of my more reli­gious friends kind of take the dis­cus­sion in a direc­tion that leans toward the dog­matic. I’m find­ing out I may just have to start my own church, but I promise to excom­mu­ni­cate sui­cide bombers and teetotalers.

Unruly Altar+Boy on July 15, 2010 at 11:07 UTC.

oh wait, tee­to­talers except 4 those in south­east pdx!

Frank Wilson on September 23, 2010 at 4:09 UTC.

I linked to Ron Rosenbaum’s piece on my blog and I strongly rec­om­mend Mark Vernon’s book Beyond Atheism. Both Ron and Mark under­stand agnos­ti­cism in a more pos­i­tive — and I think more cor­rect way — as a kind of apophatic the­ol­ogy, the sort that posits that God, being alto­gether other, can­not be dis­cussed in pos­i­tive terms. I think the impor­tant thing to grasp is that the world and life are together pro­foundly mys­te­ri­ous. Or, as some­one once felic­i­tously put it, we see, as through a glass, darkly.

Isid Bortz on September 24, 2010 at 5:09 UTC.

Just added it to the ol’ Amazon wish list, Frank. Thanks!

BTW, the word “apophatic” is awesome…


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